Posted 5 days ago

You would think that Andrew Jackson was giving you his undivided attention, and then you would glance over and notice that he had devoted the last several minutes to making a laborious sketch of an alligator.

“Mr. President!” you would gasp, indignantly.

“I have a bullet lodged inside my body,” he would say. “From killing a man in a duel. A better man than you.” He would resume drawing the alligator.

Posted 1 week ago

donniedarkhoe:

lolsomeone-actually:

thewriterwhoisalone:

mackblesa:

nevertoomanyspiders:

ceruleanpineapple:

theladysyk0:

lizardlicks:

hellish-deer:

ceruleanpineapple:

spiders.

they’re like tiny 8-legged cats
how can anyone hate them

Spiders are huge derps, pass it on.

My dad used to work as a mechanic in Arizona and he said that wild tarantulas would just wander into the shop and try and cuddle with the mechanics under the trucks. Spiders really dig car exhaust smell for some reason and they would be like “ah yes this human smells nice let me sit on your face while you’re working or perhaps climb into your pocket and see what you have” and the mechanics would keep shooing the spiders out but the spiders would follow them back like “No why would you leave me human friend??”

THAT IS SO CUTE

reblogging for the story, eeee

spiders are the derpiest things though like have you ever played with a spider and a laser pointer, because I thought my lizards chasing the laser was adorable but leT ME TELL U, BLACK WIDOWS CHASING LASERS IS FRICKEN ADORABLE

So I hate spiders but this makes them seem a bit cuter lol

Yeah no I still aint fucking with no spiders

lilceazer :)
Posted 1 week ago
Posted 1 week ago

braginskey:

why do people have like 74973 different names for these

image

Posted 1 week ago
Posted 1 week ago
Posted 1 week ago

(Source: humorstop)

Posted 1 week ago
nodamncatnodamncradle:

Can we all take a minute and appreciate that hundreds of years ago a person poured hours of hard work into painting cherubs making human fart bubbles. 

nodamncatnodamncradle:

Can we all take a minute and appreciate that hundreds of years ago a person poured hours of hard work into painting cherubs making human fart bubbles. 

(Source: uglyrenaissancebabies)

Posted 1 week ago

Boring Mondays.

Posted 2 weeks ago